To my son

You made me a mother. You changed my life.

I selfishly didn’t want more children after you. I didn’t feel I had enough space in my heart as you had taken almost all of it. Everything I do is for you. You are my firstborn. You are my SON.

You came at a time when I did not think I could conceive. I had all but given up hope until my womb was intricately blessed with you. You came as a welcomed surprise but your timing was perfect.

I realize now that my heart has the capability to grow. I realize that the more your sister grows inside of me, the increased capacity I have to love you both.

Your sister will not replace you. She may require some more individualized attention but I will love you both with every ounce of my being. I will teach you all I can. I will give you all I can. I will give you both all the hugs and kisses your heart desires. I will love you no matter what.

At 2 years old you don’t quite understand what is about to happen in the next few months. How both our lives are about to be turned upside down with a new baby. The whirlwind going from one to two. I know in my heart you will be a great big brother. I know you will love your sister and protect her.

But I want YOU to know that I love you. You call me mommy. You trust me. You love me. You first made me a mommy in March of 2016. The most important job in the world. Of all the hats I wear, this one is the most sacred and the one I reverence with all my heart. I don’t take this job of being your mother lightly. I smile when you’re happy. I cry when you’re hurt. I can’t protect you from everything, but I will protect you from anything I can.

I look at you and see your future. I see your zest for learning. I see how curious you are about the world. I see that mischievous smile that lets me know you are up to something.

These past 2 and a half years have blessed my life. You have taught me so much. And now, as we embark upon a new journey with a new baby I want you to know I love you. Deeply and truly. You are my life. And when your sister comes my love for you will only deepen.

You are my son and I love you.

xoxo -Mommy